JERRY ROBERTS

April 7, 2002

Some actors have bad standings with critics. Adam Sandler, Pauly Shore, Sylvester Stallone just to name a few are fodder for critics and those who scoff at the ridiculous hambone movies that they force on us. Added to that dubious list is Steven Segal. He’s had a decade long history of bad movies and On Deadly Ground, his directorial debut doesn't exactly raise the bar. In fact, given how this movie ends I would say that it has buried itself and isn't likely to be recovered.

Watching On Deadly Ground, I expected a hint of vanity but after the script had allowed him to be called “The Spirit Warrior” and “Patron Saint of the Impossible”, I realized that all that was missing was a chorus of angels and a scene in which he turns water into wine. During the movie, I was joking when I said that I was waiting for someone to call him `The Chosen One' and lo and behold someone did.

I always say that a little vanity thrust upon your own character is not a bad thing but the Jesus-like stature that Segal gives himself in this movie is tiresome at best – even in the end when he gets to deliver his sermon on the mount. His name in the film is Forrest Taft (yes, Forrest Taft) and he's one of those martial arts environmentalists who fights against racism and the protection of the environment even if it means he has to blow up half of Alaska to do it.

His kick-buttyness may be local legend to the Inuit people but he is a thorn in the side to oil bearing billionaires like Michael Jennings (Michael Caine). Jennings is one of those heartless rich guys in expensive suits with not only his own entourage but his own private army. Jennings owns a huge oil company and is ready to start a Super-oil rig before the rights to the land reverts back to the pesky Inuit people who don't worship the almighty dollar half as much as they worship the almighty Forrest Taft.

How bad is Jennings? He's one of those villains provided for this kind of movie that isn't just bad but exudes his villainy oozing from every pore. So bad is he that he dispenses with his secretary in one of the most unnecessary death scenes I can remember. Well, maybe not so bad for the actress because she does get the benefit of a paycheck and gets to drop out of the movie very early on. Did I mention unnecessary? It makes me a little curious as to why Michael Caine would take this part when even after nearly two decades he still can't get the pall of Jaws the Revenge off his reputation. Based on the character names in ODG, I was kind of disappointed that Forest didn't ask "Why don't you love me Jennings?"

No movie like this could be complete without an admiring woman at the hero's side and for this little nitrate slushball we get Masu (Joan Chen), an environmental activist whose protests extend to squirting oil on Jenning's suit. That's actually her big scene because other then schmoozing over what a great guy Forest is she spends most of the movie tagging along behind him and dodging bullets.

And if by the movie's third act you think you've seen it all, well . . . just wait.

After a movie in which Seagal has blown up half of Alaska and killed dozens of people and likely polluted the water he then stands at a podium to deliver a long lecture about the dangers of big oil companies ruining the environment and pleading for an alternative source of energy. I'm not sure I got the whole message but I think that what he is saying is that we should have sails on our cars. Warner Brothers initially made him cut the speech back because it was running just over 15 minutes. Strange that no one seemed to have had any complaints about the two hours that came before. Don’t take it personally Forrest, after all stupid is as stupid does.