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Stars: Choice Dialogue: * FRANKY:
"There's a retired coroner from LA, Dr. Nakasome and he has the world's
largest collection of famous deceased person's private parts. And I know
for a fact that Morrison's sex organ is in his collection." Conclusions: Review: I wondered if there could ever be a single movie that could be weirder than Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. On the scale of the bizarre I would have to put it a notch above JC but not quite as baffling as Barn of the Blood Llama. It's just weird, let's leave it at that. Surprisingly, I forgot I had even seen this film. Surprising to me because how do you forget a movie that features a conversation between Elvis and Liberace's sexual organ? Not easy, but somehow I did it. The movie (if I could desicrate that word by associating it with this monstrosity) is a hybrid of gonzo ideas grafted onto a film project so wholly ambitious that one can scarcely comprehend that it came from a civilized mind. Given that, I will proceed with something resembling an explanation. Rock 'n Roll Frankenstein is an idea belched from the juvenile mind of Brian O'Hara whose filmmaking credits would qualify him as an expert in creating lesbian prison movies. This movie involves Bernie, a record producer who is in a quandry because all of his performers are no-talent hacks who keep walking out on him. What to do? That's right! Build a rock star out of the body parts of better ones! Bernie just happens to have a nephew named Frankie who has perfected the reanimation of dead issue (he can't get a date). So Bernie asks Frank to gather some of his stoner buddies to visit the graves of the likes of Elvis, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison, pay respects and then dig them up and steal their body parts. All goes fine until the part of the assigment in where they go to Paris to unearth Morrison's grave. What do they need from The Lizard King? His Lizard! Problem! Morrison's member
has been stolen and sent to a research lab. When trying to steal it, Frankie's
stoned-out buddy Iggy drops Morrison's manhood into a vat of acid (d'oh!).
Just then they hear the security guard coming and grab the first sexual
organ and run. Unfortunatly, the penis stolen once belonged to Liberace.
Now, who hasn't had a day like that? Put your hand down. How does he deal with this? Well, a battle of words breaks out between The King and the piece formerly owned by Liberace. Yes, a war of words and the sexual organ shouts Elvis down. How did it manage to grow a voice box? I never asked for realism. Then a fight breaks out . . . but in the interest of good taste I will do you a favor and end this review right here. You're welcome. |
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