By Jerry Roberts

October 13, 2002

The first thought in my mind when I heard about the horror movie set in a bowling alley was: How long is it going to be before someone gets their head shoved in the ball cleaner? The answer: 72 minutes and that's a lot longer then I would have guessed.

It is very likely that Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama would be forgotten were it not for it's amazing title. It joins the ranks of such would-be obscurities as Surf Nazis Must Die, Blood Orgy of the She-Devils, Doctor Hackenstein, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, Hacksaw High, I Dismember Mama and of course the sequel Sorority Babes in the Dance-A-Thon of Death. These movie titles are well-known but the films themselves aren't worth a darn but none dare call them forgettable

SBITSB-A-R is a low budget cheap-fest about a group of buxom sorority girls who have to break into a bowling alley and steal a bowling trophy as part of their hazing. This plot point is easily trodded out in the film's opening scene, which is one of those bizarre movie moments that leave you asking why naked nubile co-ed's can't seem to operate a set of curtains.

The bowling trophy, it turns out, is the prison for an evil spirit (oh good, reality!). Suffice to say that the spirit does not manifest to grant them three wishes. The creature looks like a $2 entity from the nightmares of Jim Henson and given a voice that sounds like a bad impression of Louis Armstrong. Mayhem ensues as the girls are followed in the bowling alley by group of frat slobs who provide us with the purpose for the girls to remove their brassieres. Removing their brassiers isn't the half of it because the creature controls their minds and causes weird Russ Meyer-like spanking fantasies, which pad most of the movie's running time.

Most of these actresses were assigned the project based on their curves (or whether or not they were willing to date the producers) save for one minor celebrity named Linnea Quigley, the Bobby Fiescher of Scream Queens. Quigley has made a long list of movies like this and her character names read the day-players classified section: Trash, Spider, Bambi, Rat Woman, Zombie Go-Go Girl #4, Overdosed Hooker and TV Shower Girl. Visibility at any cost I suppose.