Problem: How do you find a fitting film role for a Playboy Playmate whose acting chops wouldn't feed a starving lab rat?

Solution: Cast her as an android without emotions.

She fits right in with the material. I think with this script even Marlon Brando would have had to reach for it.

Galaxina was the fourth and last film starring Dorothy Stratten and unfortunatly it's the one fans remember best. In the movie she sits around stone-faced and doesn't do very much. That would be a problem except for the fact that this is a COMEDY! To soil that name is bad enough but to watch the film it becomes apparent that the whole production was fused together only based on the information that Stratten was attached.

We're somewhere in 3003 in a world constructed out of sets you can build around your house. Space travel is a way of life and the space lanes are patrolled by one Captain Cornelius Butts - BWAAAA-HAAA-HAAA - and his ragtag crew aboard the starship Infinity. The crew gets into one of those strange "bad movie space battles" where the movie's tech crew just throws model ships at each other in front of a black velvet curtain. They lose and we find that the whole battle was just to introduce Commander Thor (Steven Macht) whose two favorite pasttimes are his rowing machine and his sex machine (Stratten) which he can't get close to because she has a built-in virgin alarm that shocks and throws him across the room when he takes a grab at the goodies.

After about three weeks of that hilarity we finally get down to the plot (such as it is). The Infinity gets orders to find and retrieve an artifact called The Blue Star. We're never actually told why they have to find The Blue Star or what The Blue Star does but my guess would be that it Stops Itching Fast!

Time is of the essence, it's a thirty year journey to find The Blue Star but they still have time to stop off at a space brothel so we can have a few laughs. It's suppose to parody the cantina scene from Star Wars but it's really an excuse for the filmmakers to show us how much money they spent on masks at the Halloween store. The credits of the movie list the patrons of this brothel as Winged Girl, Blue Girl, Scaley Girl and Horn Man (don't ask).

It's during a suspended animation when Galaxina suddenly gets tired of her virgin alarm and turns it off so she and Thor can make beautiful music together, or get her out of her outfit whichever comes first. Anyway she eventually retrieves the artifact from the kabuki-like villian named Oricle and has to fight it out with him to keep it. Their battles aren't exactly struggles to the death, they're more like weak games of "keep away".

I just have to take a moment to mention that she runs across a horse-faced alien in a blue uniform named "Mr. Spot" who has pointed ears the point downward. Okay enough about that.

The point of Galaxina is to gawk as Dorothy Stratten sits around in tight spandex sits around in metallic jumpsuits, stands around with her butt shining in the moonlight, mostly she just stands around. The effect is kind of like Stratten's centerfolds, it's interesting in our initial gawks but it's not exactly something we want to stare at for 90 minutes. So, why then do the filmmakers think it's a good idea of breaking up the tedium of Stratten Gawking with the antics of Avery Schreiber!?! I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!

I managed to see Galaxina in the midst of a marathon of Stratten's other three films SkateTown USA, Autumn Born, and They All Laughed (I can think of at least two things wrong with that title). I wasn't really surprised to find that Stratten gives the exact same performance in all four movies but at least I was spared the sight of Avery Schreiber giving birth to an alien who think he's it's mother. Ick! Ewww! Gross! I need a shower!